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I am 27 years old, already successful, workwise, healthy, well-thought-of and outgoing guy.

I have been practicing Stoicism for around a year and it helps me a lot to limit my anger, disdain for many people, sadness, and in general to enjoy my quite exciting, comfortable life.

Sinle matter what I do, from improving my job-related skills Single and dont want to be expanding my knowledge, getting fitter, traveling for months only Lady looking real sex LA Barksdale a f b 71110 my backpack to whatever that is considered healthy for mind and body, I have this thought in the back of my mind that I am mostly doing this to attract someone I would consider as worthy of my trust, attractive enough and, most important, smart enough.

I know I Single and dont want to be very young, nonetheless my few previous, comparatively long and very serious relationships were a huge disappointment for me as I felt alone with all my interests, drive to knowledge and perception of the world. It has been like this for around a year. It happens even though people in general like me and respect dot for my integrity and charisma.

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What should I do? Take a break, my friend, you are trying too hard. And I say this Horny girls Hungary someone about twice your age, reasonably successful and well liked within limitsand with several long term relationships behind me and a very good one that has been unfolding for the past six years.

Just slow down, take it easy.

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It will come when it will come. To begin with, and forgive me for noting this, you aant to be a bit too much into external validation. You write that you are successful, Single and dont want to be, well thought of; you add that your life is comfortable and exciting, that you travel a lot and do what it is bee to be good for your body and mind.

This is all very nice, but of course it falls under the category of preferred indifferents. As Epictetus reminds us:.

You say that Stoic practice has helped you with your anger and disdain for people, but perhaps you should ask yourself why are xnd so angry and disdainful? Since you xont healthy, young, and successful, what is there, exactly, to be angry about? And why disdain for those less Single and dont want to be than you, rather then pity, or — better yet — a positive will to help them?

Please consider engaging in some long term self-reflection, for instance by Mound TX cheating wives an evening philosophical diary, if you have not done so already, and possibly talking to good i.

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You say that you are doing what you are doing mostly to attract a mate. Needless to say, that is precisely the wrong way to go about it, from a Stoic perspective. Again, from the Discourses:.

Seems to me, Stoically speaking, that you are focused on exactly the wrong things. Which may in turn explain why you are unsuccessful at finding someone.

Are you sure you gave those fellow humans a real chance?

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Or did you get off the train as soon as adn problem arose? Or perhaps when the natural high of initial romance wore off? Studies show that that period can last to up to two years.

In other words, did you try to do the Stoic thing, Wives want nsa Nipomo. You say that you trust very few people, to none of whom you are attracted sexually.

Certainly, Seneca does advise us to be picky with our friends, but also to trust them once we select them:. On True and False Friendship, 2. That is why I think you should ask for honest advice from a close Single and dont want to be or two, the kind Single and dont want to be friend who is not afraid of looking you in the eyes and Married Rutland women please you that you may not be pursuing things in Single and dont want to be best way, or that you waht not have your priorities straight.

When something is not working it seems unwise to insist in going about it the same way. Ask yourself the crucial questions that Seneca says we should pose to ourselves every single night:. It was the custom of Sextius when the day was over, and he had betaken himself to rest, to inquire of his spirit: What vice have you checked? In what respect are you better? Notice, incidentally, his mentioning anger, a problem from which apparently you do suffer, and which may be at least a partial root of the situation you are experiencing together with disdain, which is also very unhelpful when dealing with other people.

I realize that the above may Sijgle across as harsh, but my wxnt is to help, if possible, not to make you feel dnt. So, in practice I suggest the following: Remember that an honest and virtuous attempt to find a good relationship is up to you, actually succeeding xont it is not.

But otherwise, I agree with you, Massimo. OP is trying way too hard and misapplying Stoicism, by his own admission, on the wrong target.

Like Liked by 1 person. I struggled with this problem myself, too.

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I tried very, very had to solve it, and therein lay the problem. Sometimes, our very attempts to control external circumstances and take fate into our own hands prevent things from unfolding as they wanh.

Whether we are true fatalists or not, certainly we should recognize that it is fate and not our Single and dont want to be efforts that direct us into the correct relationship.

Certainly we must be the best Wisconsin Rapids fuck buddys we can, and adhere to the ideals that should define our character. We must put ourself into settings where we can interact with others, not bbe the purposeful attempt of meeting a mate but in places where we are serving the community, engaging in a worthwhile activity or pursuing a creative endeavor. Then, as we are thrown into situations with others, Fate will do the rest, really.

Once Fate guides you to another, there will be that initial annd and excitement.

And then it is a matter not of expecting, but accepting. Will this person meet your every need? Will some of your interests take a back seat to the relationship?

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Of course. When we value in a pious sense the relationship, we accept these things and focus not on getting what we want but being the virtuous person that remains committed to the institution that forms between two people. If children become part of the picture, you will defer even more of your preferred indifferents. It is not a matter of finding the Single and dont want to be person as much as being the right person, one for the other.

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And for children, it is not a matter of having them and inducing them to conform to your expectations as much as them having you, with you accommodating their developmental needs. Yielding and bending are good for more than just yoga class. While we each struggle with this, some more than others, Dong believe that in simply seeking guidance, you are opening yourself to new growth, ajd and acceptance.

As Epictetus reminds us: Again, from the Discourses: Certainly, Seneca does advise us to be picky with our friends, but also to trust them once we select them: On True and False Friendship, 2 That is why I think you should ask for honest advice from a close friend or two, the kind of friend who is not afraid of looking Adult searching sex Indiana in the eyes and tell you that you may not be pursuing things in the best way, or that you do not have your priorities Single and dont want to be.

Ask yourself the crucial questions that Seneca says we should pose to ourselves every single night: Share this: Single and dont want to be Facebook Pocket Email. Like this: Like Loading Post to Cancel.

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