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Name: Bertine
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Looking back at that situation, I actually had never been so unsure of where I stood with a guy.

If he didn't text me, I would go crazy thinking up scenarios of why he wasn't speaking to me. Imagining him being with another girl made my whole world come crashing down.

I would spend hours in my shower crying because I was scared I would never see him again. Because at least I know now that it's not what I need. Mild love may sound monotonous by definition, it means "not extreme"but there's nothing boring about stability and moderation.

That doesn't necessarily mean I don't want butterflies for the guy I'm seeing, though. It just means I'm cool with dating someone I didn't fall head over heels for immediately.

You tell me what sounds aome romantic: A love that makes you Seeking some romance and passion in your shower every day out of fear of them leaving you forever, or a love that is lasting, creating a deeply connected, joint life built on years of slow-growing emotional trust.

It's easy to see why people see passionate love as true love.

Who wouldn't want that? But the good also comes with the bad.

And as my love life has shown, you can't have extreme highs without extreme lows. One of my most vivid childhood memories was a violent fight between my mom and dad in a mall parking lot.

That didn't look like love to me then. But throughout my teen and college years, I began to see that as passion.

And when I experienced that passionate love myself, I luckily came out on the other side knowing it's not what I need. Now, the main thing I look for in a relationship is someone who can comfort me and make me feel calm.

I have diagnosed anxietyand the last thing I need is for someone else to add onto that. People Seeking some romance and passion have "fallen in love" with me quickly and passionately tend to fall out of love just as fast.

I don't want to wonder if things are OK between me and my significant other. I want someone I can depend on.

I want to simply be happy just being together, rather than seeking out how to be more intense and more passionate. By Arielle Lana LeJarde. About Contact Newsletter Terms Privacy.